Civilized Warfare

For years and years, humans have needlessly killed each other. I don’t know if warfare is a natural inborn behavior in our species, or if we’ve just conditioned ourselves to handle all our disagreements with violence. You’d think with all the progress we’ve made, socially and technologically, we would have found better way to solve conflicts. Unfortunately, when it comes to diplomacy, we’re still living in the dark ages.

This is evident in the global conflicts that have taken place over the last forty years or so. It seems that now we are doomed to a future of killing regularly, no matter how petty the disagreement at hand. Whether we fight for religion, land, oil, or power, there’s always and excuse and an opportunity to spark up a conflict somewhere.

Many politicians have looked upon small level conflicts (such as the war in Iraq) as a way to stimulate the economy, energize the populace, and make a quick buck. I believe many politicians see war as a way to take advantage of the public while eroding our personal freedoms. We’ve traded a lot of our personal freedoms recently due to our fear of terrorism. It looks like terrorists have finally found a way to destroy our country to some degree. We may be supposedly “safer” now than we were before 911, but we have destroyed many of the freedoms that made this country the shining example that enraged so many terrorists to begin with.

In my opinion, The Patriot Act and our ongoing war on terror has actually done more harm to our country than good. We are no more safer than we were before 911 (as if that’s what this war was really about to begin with), Bin Laden (or one of his doubles) is still free and bitching up a storm, and more people are pissed at us as a nation than ever before. Of course, civilian “collateral damage” just drives more and more foreign civilians into Alqeda recruitment. After all, we’re the ones responsible for “accidentally” killing their family members. It’s only natural that a son would start to believe terrorist, anti-American, propaganda after we get done killing his father by accident. Drunk drivers “accidentally” kill people in America everyday and you know how easy it is to hate them.

Many presidents and politicians have jumped on the war bandwagon with a fanatical zeal in recent history. Many of them view war as an opportunity to shift blame away from themselves and make a quick buck in the process. It is plain to see that the general consensus among those in power is that young American lives are not as important as gaining political power and exerting control over the world in general. War is, and always has been, a big business and there’s a lot of money to be made whenever you’re willing to sacrifice the lives of fellow humans. I know many politicians have voted for war when they’re own children were in the armed forces. I know they sent their own children to war in the process. The question is how many of those children were sent to the front lines and how many of them were put into more prestigious or safe positions? As a commanding officer, would you want to be held responsible for getting a senator’s son or daughter killed in the line of duty, or would you rather keep them as safe as possible in relation to the other soldiers? As a senator that has sent your child off to war, would you (out of guilt) use your influence to make sure they don’t see as much action as their fellow soldiers? It’s something to think about.

It also seems like the most “righteous” members of our society always push for war, which doesn’t seem logical to me. If you send someone to war and make them kill (and break the big commandment) then if they get killed in the process, they will go to hell. If you kill a lot of bad people, then they go to hell too. So war is a good way of sending more human souls to hell and therefore giving the devil strength, right? Yet pro-life Christians almost always vote pro-war. Shouldn’t this be considered a sin? Supporting something that involves breaking commandments, while also sending more souls to hell, just doesn’t seem right. I know there’s evildoers that kill people for their own evil ends, but if you actually total up the amount of lives lost due to terrorism and compare that to the amount of lives lost due to war and bombing, it’s easy to see who’s sending more people to hell.

I’m not saying that all wars have been pointless. There are many things in life that are worth fighting for, such as liberty and freedom, or stopping genocide (which we evidently don’t do anymore). But there is no reason why we should constantly find our leaders making up excuses to go to war over petty stuff. It seems that most modern wars are fought over oil, or to boost the economy, or as in recent conflicts, to provide some seriously sweet profits for military contractors that are close to the ruling administration. War has become an industry and the leaders of that industry have enjoyed way too much political control.

I know I sound all gloom-and-doom here, but I think I’ve found a way to make wars a bit more civilized. I have concocted a rather far-fetched solution to this endless cycle of rich people sending our children off to die. I haven’t worked out all the kinks, but I’ve got a fairly good blueprint to go on.

I say we take the leaders of each country that has an unsolvable conflict that (in their opinion) merits war, and make them personally responsible for any acts of aggression or lives lost, that they feel is necessary. How do we do this? Well, here’s my modest proposal that I believe will solve our current addiction to warfare:

First we take the two leaders of the opposing countries, that would like to have a war, and you put them into a locked room together. Then we give them all the communications capabilities that they need, such as videoconference, phones, etc. This will insure that they have all the resources that they would need in order to work out a peaceful resolution. Then we tell them they have two weeks to come up with a peaceful resolution or they will be forced to fight to the death in order to resolve their differences. In the case of a death match, the winner wins the war.

I believe that if it is important enough for leaders to offer up the lives of their fellow countrymen, over a disagreement, then they can demonstrate their dedication by risking their own lives instead. It only seems fair that they would take full responsibility for lives lost in war, and I think this is the perfect way to make them take personal responsibility. Then we can sit back and see exactly how many wars will be started over petty things like oil and financial power-play. I have a feeling the world would become a much more peaceful place if we used this method to settle international conflicts. Of course we could always televise any death matches on pay-per-view and use the proceeds to rebuild our crumbling infrastructure. Now that’s war profits I can believe in.

Twinkling hope in a post-apocalyptic world.

“The night sky will be the television of the post-apocalypse.” This is a statement I came up with years ago while contemplating what would happen if a disaster brought about the end of civilization, as we know it. My whole life I’ve had the nagging suspicion that something big was going to happen, that would change everything we knew, and make us all have to fight for survival every day.

I don’t know if I was naturally born paranoid or if I’m just a bit pessimistic when it comes to seeing us last very long as a species. Either way, I’ve been learning as much as possible since I was a young child to insure that I would be able to survive a major disaster. I started out by reading animal tracking and wilderness survival guides by Tom Brown. Then I moved on to learning how to make homemade fallout shelters and what foods to grow and at what time of the year to grow them. Luckily, my father helped me learn a lot about wild edible plants. I still get a craving for sautéed dandelions with tiger lily shoots from time to time.

I never really obsessed with weapons training other than some martial arts and archery. For some reason, I never really saw an end-of-the-world scenario involving the need to shoot other people. Maybe I’m a bit naïve. I guess I always thought that if the apocalypse came, it would either be relatively minor and everyone would HAVE to work together, or it would be so damn bad, we’d all be dead within a week or two.

But assuming we all weren’t dead, what is the one thing that people all over the world would have in common? The sun, the moon, and the stars of course. In ancient times, heroes were made and cast upon the stars. Hopes and dreams were embodied in legends about the sun and the planets, and how they affected mankind. Navigation, timekeeping, seasonal planning, and storytelling all were intricately tied in to the sky above. The sky was as much a part of life as food, shelter, and water.

In modern times, hardly anyone notices the night sky, aside from astronomers and a few hobbyist stargazers. Periodic meteor showers or lunar eclipses will bring out a few curious teenagers or stoned college students, but for the most part, most of society has forgotten about what lies outside of this planet. I guess it’s not surprising that funding for space exploration has been severely slashed over the years. We’re just not looking up anymore as a species. Of course I guess it doesn’t really matter, considering most of the starlight is blocked out and obscured due to light pollution from our cities. Unless you live way out in “the sticks”, streetlights and strip-mall lighting, combined with pollution, blot out most of the stars in the sky.

But let’s just assume that something horribly disastrous happened that knocked our collective “dicks in the dirt” so to speak. Without electricity, television, internet, or World of Warcraft, we’d all have to find something else to do with what little spare time we had left at the end of the day. Eventually reading by candlelight, and steamy, post-apocalyptic, no-bath-havin, sex would loose its appeal and people would start to look forward into the future for the great unknown. People would look to that untapped void of magic, hope, and possibility that all humans have looked to since the dawn consciousness. The night sky.

So if something horrible ever does happen to us all, and you find yourself eating a squirrel and drinking a three-year-old orange Faygo by the campfire, just remember, no matter what, we’ve all got something in common. The stars above. And that, my friends, is why I believe, “The night sky will be the television of the post-apocalypse.”

In the wise words of Jack Horkheimer, “Keep looking up!”

Conspiracy Corner with Moosehammer - The Greys

Recently, a good friend of mine gave me an idea to do a conspiracy blog regarding The Greys. I hadn’t thought about UFO based conspiracies for years, so I thought it would be a good idea to put my tin-foil hat on and dig back into it for a bit. In the process I found some information had I not known about before, as well as some information that was so far-fetched I found myself laughing at times. If you’re ever in the mood to read some really kooky-crazy stuff, I would highly recommend you spend a weekend digging up information on The Greys/government conspiracy. Just keep in mind you really have to dig deep to get to the really crazy stuff (it might take several days so be patient).

So now without further ado, here are some of the more believable scenarios that I found regarding alien and UFO conspiracies.

There are several popular conspiracy theories concerning “The Greys” (a race of short gray colored aliens). Some people have said they originally created us through genetic manipulation in order to help them with reproduction and scientific studies. Others say that they are galactic conservationists who are taking last-minute genetic samples from our dying planet. While many people have different opinions about UFO’s, aliens, and flying saucers, The Greys, and their connection to a secret government conspiracy, tends to stand out as one of the most popular conspiracy theories to date.

This popular conspiracy theory states that The Grays have been working with a top-secret shadow government on earth in an agreement to supply alien technology in exchange for Earth’s resources. Supposedly, ever since the alien crash in Roswell, New Mexico, top levels of government officials have been in communication with this alien race and have worked out an agreement to allow aliens free use of humans, animals, and the resources of Earth in exchange for advanced alien technology. Many believe that since that time, The Grey’s have broken from the original agreement and have devised a plan to seize all the Earth’s resources and enslave the entire human race.

Supposedly an organization, known as MJ-12 was set up by President Eisenhower in order to communicate and work with The Grays. MJ-12 is said to control most of the world’s drug trade as a way of obtaining untraceable funding. This insures that MJ-12 can stay top secret and away from the prying eyes of congress and the public in general while also having a virtually limitless amount of money to operate with. Some people say MJ-12 was responsible for the JFK assassination as well. It is said that JFK was going to go public with all information regarding aliens and UFO’s and was assassinated in order to keep the information from getting out.

Some people believe that The Greys are only a cover for the government’s technological and mind control experiments that are carried out on the populace. UFO’s are thought to be top secret, experimental aircraft and Alien abductions are said to be subconscious psychological implants placed by psychic government operatives in order to explain nano-technological implants that are placed in the populace. It is believed as long as the victims of these experiments thought they were abducted by aliens, they would be labeled as crazy kooks, and no one would believe them. Meanwhile, no one would suspect the true culprit, secret government organizations.

So why would real aliens need to abduct humans? Some people believe we are being used for genetic experiments. Supposedly these aliens have lived for so long, they are no longer able to procreate and need our DNA to clone new offspring. Some people believe they actually impregnate humans in an attempt to create alien/human hybrids that they can use for direct breeding purposes. There are even some really wild theories that say aliens feed themselves by absorbing a protein and enzyme goo mixture through their skins that is manufactured from certain human and bovine internal organs and tissues. This is said to explain why we have seen cattle mutilations in the past and why people go missing without a trace.

Many people have said they were implanted with alien devices or objects after abduction. Some believe these devices could be used for monitoring physiological data, physical tracking, or even mind control. Some people have said that the devices combined with psychic manipulation from the aliens would make abductees carry out preplanned alien agendas. This insures that if anyone interferes with the overall plans of The Greys, they can use their fellow humans to terminate them, so it is more believable and untraceable. This would also keep government officials under control with the knowledge that their own bodyguards could be forced to kill them at any given moment.

Many people believe that there is a secret plan, by the powers that be, to bring the world under the rule of a one-world-government (AKA the New World Order) in order to allow us to be controlled even further by The Greys. Some believe we are trying for a position with some sort of galactic alliance and cannot be admitted until we bring the Earth under full control of a central governing body. Considering Bush Sr.’s New World Order speech, many people have decided that the entire Bush family is under the control of these alien beings. Of course there’s also people who believe that the Bush family is controlled by Skull and Bones, which is controlled by The Illuminati, which is controlled and run by The Greys. The rabbit hole is indeed endless, and the deeper your dig, the weirder and more interconnected things can begin to look. The question is what is real, what is a lie, and what is misdirectional disinformation?

Whether you believe in The Greys or not, it still makes for one hell of a conspiracy theory. There is a lot of stuff that has happened that still is unexplained. Mass sightings of UFO’s have been dismissed as either natural phenomena or group hallucinations. Of course there’s a lot of convincing video footage of UFO’s out there on the net. The problem is most of the truly convincing footage has been shown to be fake. Of course it could be argued that if aliens truly controlled the world, wouldn’t they be able to make sure that real UFO footage never got released to the public? The more you actually think about these types of things, the more confusing they get, until the only thing you know to be 100% real is your throbbing headache. Or maybe it’s the implants powering up. Ha ha ha!

I have to admit I’ve personally toyed with the idea of UFO’s and aliens, but I’m still not totally convinced there’s anything to it. I guess I’m one of those people that has to have a personal experience with this type of phenomena before I can truly start to believe it’s really out there. For years, I’ve hoped to see something that would remove all doubt from my mind, but still find myself waiting and thinking, with nothing to show for it.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed the basic info I provided on this conspiracy theory. There’s a lot more information that I didn’t include for fear of boring everyone or linking into too many other subjects. Once you start with one theory, they tend to link in to all the other ones eventually. If you’re interested in this type of thing, please do some research and see for yourself what kind of information is out there. If you see anything that I missed, that you think should have been included, please feel free to add it in the comments area. I look forward to seeing your opinions and insights on this subject. Like I said, the rabbit hole is deep on this one.

The problem with cash for gold schemes

Just a quick thought. If the economy ends up crashing, the dollar would not really be worth much. Gold and silver would still hold value though. Gold and silver would definitely be handy during an economic apocalypse. You could trade it for food and stuff. But what would happen if everybody sold their gold and silver to companies like Cash 4 Gold when times were hard (before things totally crashed)? Wouldn’t that just totally suck? No one would have much to barter with. But companies that bought everyone’s gold and silver would be living the high life. I’m not saying the sky is falling just yet, or that it will. I’m no expert on such matters. I’m just saying you might want to wait a while before selling all your old gold and silver jewelry. Otherwise you might end up having to sell your ass for sandwiches!

Joe the Dumber

I saw a news article the other day about “Joe the Plumber”. Evidently the conservative site PJTV.com has him in Israel reporting on the ongoing Gaza conflict. Now why the hell anyone would think this guy is qualified to report on a war is beyond me. But after seeing the media behave like a schizophrenic baboon on PCP during the last year’s elections, I now believe they’ll give airtime to anyone with a pulse. But it’s not the fact that they gave this media whore a microphone that pissed me off. It’s what he was quoted as saying in response to a question about what he had learned while being a “journalist”.

Here’s what he is quoted as saying:

“I’ll be honest with you. I don’t think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what’s happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I think it’s asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you’d go to the theater and you’d see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for’em. Now everyone’s got an opinion and wants to downer–and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers. I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you’re gonna sit there and say, “Well look at this atrocity,” well you don’t know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it.”

O.K. so aside from the fact that this guy has the vocabulary and language skills of a stoned Miss South Carolina, do you think he even knows what planet he is on at the moment? It’s no surprise this guy didn’t know what tax bracket he was in. Maybe he wasn’t purposefully lying about it after all. Maybe he was just too dumb to know anything other than “Da priddy lady on da tv say Obama bad. Me help priddy lady fight bad man!” It’s hard to believe this guy was McCain’s golden boy in the last leg of the campaign. McCain couldn’t go two minutes in a debate without saying “Joe the Plumber” at least several times. It really makes me wonder if McCain threw the election on purpose. But that’s a subject better explored at another time.

Anyway, let me get back to exactly what was said by JTP. I agree with his opinion on journalists not giving away the location of troops. So I’ll give him that one. So lets move on to where he says, “You report what’s happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I think it’s asinine.” So JTP doesn’t like for journalists to make a big deal out of war. I don’t care who’s involved; war is kinda a big deal. Humans being ripped to shreds by shrapnel and gunfire, is kinda a big deal. How is it that we’ve become so desensitized by lock-step warmongering dogma that we’ve got losers like this saying that war is no big deal? I say we put people like this on the frontlines and let our hard working troops get some much-needed rest.

Ok, so now lets move on to his next quote of pure genius, “You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you’d go to the theater and you’d see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for’em. Now everyone’s got an opinion and wants to downer–and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers.” What I want to know is where in the hell did a dumbass like this guy get a time machine? How else would he know how much he supposedly enjoyed World War I and World War II? I’m glad he enjoyed it, because no one else did. And of course he thinks everyone wants to “downer” the soldiers. Only American and Israeli soldiers, by the way because everyone knows they’re the only soldiers that count. Damn! I wish I had one of those JTP time machines. Maybe I could make one if I got real damn drunk and started cementing PVC elbows to beer bottles and Marlboro cigarette butts. That’s gotta be his secret.

Ok now for the best lines in the whole quote. “I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you’re gonna sit there and say, “Well look at this atrocity,” well you don’t know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it.” So he thinks the media should be abolished from reporting. Yeah, that would work great. I guess unlicensed plumbers would take over reporting and make sure it is done correctly. Then he says war is hell. I’ll remind you, he just got done saying war was no big deal. By inference, does this mean he thinks hell is no big deal? He’ll probably loose brownie points with Palin over that one. Then he says if you report on an atrocity and don’t know the whole story behind it, then you have no business reporting on it. I think what he’s really trying to say is: gruesome deaths are only atrocities if “the good guys” die. Otherwise it might build sympathy for “the bad guys”.

Well I hate to tell him, but gruesome deaths are atrocities regardless of who is killed. That’s why war is a big fucking deal. That’s why war is hell. Because no matter how you wage war, or on who, people die horrible deaths. Innocents die. Children and grandparents die. Why does he think we should hide the truth of war? This is the same bullshit double-speak we’ve had shoved down our throats over the last 8 years. When you break it all down, what he’s really saying is, “The people of America should not be allowed to see the real horror and human tragedy that happens when we wage war. Because if they really understood how truly gruesome and evil it is to kill people, they’ll never let us go to war again. And that’s not good because “Da priddy lady” and all her buddies really REALLY like war.” There ya go Joe The Plumber! I tidied it up and put it in “smart people” words for you.

The only reason why conservative news outlets obsess over this guy is because he’s intellectually malleable and will spout off whatever propaganda he thinks they want him to. This in turn infects all the other unintelligent ditto-heads because they personally identify with other stupid people with big voices. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Joe the Plumber will tell you what is real and what is not. It may not make sense but you’ll believe it all just the same, because he’s not some smarty-pants bleeding-heart lib-tard.

I guess I should be glad someone has sent him overseas as a “journalist”. He might learn a few things while he’s there that he otherwise might have missed out on back here in the USA. Maybe he’ll see enough atrocities to convince him that maybe war isn’t as cool and awesome as his buddies back home say it is. Maybe he’ll do a complete 180 and become a peace activist. Who knows? I just know I’m tired of seeing him and I’m beyond tired of hearing him try to speak coherently. Maybe he’ll just jump in his time machine and spend the rest of his life enjoying the fun times we supposedly had during World War I and II. We can always hope.

My 100% guaranteed sports predictions for the rest of time…..Pt. 2

You may remember an older post of mine entitled “My 100% guaranteed sports predictions for the rest of time…..Pt. 1”. Well, I can imagine I pissed of a lot of people with that post. If you would like to read it, or if you’re a sports fan who would like to be pissed off, please feel free to find it in my older blog posts. Basically I stated that a lot of money and resources were being wasted on professional sports instead of going towards causes that are actually important.

We, as humans, always claim to be civilized and care about the greater good of our world and those around us. But when it comes down to actually doing something to make things better, most Americans would rather stay comfortable and entertained than even think about what needs to be done to make things better. Each year we shovel more and more money into professional sports while turning a blind eye to the suffering around us. I’m sorry but feeding a starving child is much more important than watching people move a ball around in a field. Making sure our children are adequately educated is more important than screaming at your television for hours. Converting our world over to cheap and renewable power is a lot more important than watching cars drive in circles for hours and hours.

Dianne Spearman of the United Nations-sponsored World Food Program says cutting the number of hungry people in the world in half by 2015 could be achieved for roughly $24 billion. The amount of money spent on the sports industry in only one year ($213 billion) could cover the cost of this over eight times. So we can spend billions to develop athletes, feed them, train them, and pay them more money than they deserve, and still manage to tell the poor people of the world “Fuck you!” Yeah, that sounds about right. We’ll still sleep well tonight. After we gorge ourselves on Big Macs and Coca-Cola, we can fall into a blissful slumber as ESPN envelopes our bedroom in a blanket of serene, flickering, sports-related lights. Or should I say highlights?

Here’s a list of just a few things I believe are more important than professional sports and an average cost for each of them:

Cost to dig a water well in third world country: $3,000
Cost of after school programs per child per year: $1000
Cost to convert the average home to solar power: $35,000
Cost of a wind turbine for an average home: $14,000
Average American mortgage payment per month: $1,400
Average annual teacher’s salary K-12: $30,000 (if your lucky)
Average annual cost of health insurance per person: $3,000
Average annual cost of prescription drugs for elderly in America: $2,000

The Sports Business Journal estimated last year’s sports industry to be worth $213 billion. This figure was based on total money spent on: advertising, endorsements, sporting equipment used in competition, facility construction, internet ad spending and subscriber fees, sales of licensed goods, media broadcast rights, financial, legal, and marketing services, spectator spending, sponsorships, medical spending, travel costs, multimedia (magazines, books, video games, dvds), gambling, and operating expenses.

That breaks down into:
71,000,000 water wells in third world countries
213,000,000 kids in after school programs
6,085,714 solar powered homes
15,214,285 wind turbines for homes
152,142,857 mortgage payments
7,100,000 teacher’s salaries
71,000,000 people with health insurance
106,500,000 grandmothers with medicine

In 2008, The Giants got white gold Superbowl rings encrusted with diamonds. These rings cost $25,000 each. These rings were given to all 53 players, the coaches, and the owners. That’s over $1,325,000 spent just on rings. This doesn’t include the cost of the gala ring celebration ceremony or the travel expenses of everyone.

That breaks down into:
441 water wells in third world countries
1,325 kids in after school programs
37 solar powered homes
94 wind turbines for homes
946 mortgage payments
44 teacher’s salaries
441 people with health insurance
662 grandmothers with medicine

One-30 second Superbowl ad costs $3,000,000. Now that’s just ONE ad. Three million dollars in exchange for thirty seconds of America’s attention.

That breaks down into:
1,000 water wells in third world countries
3,000 kids in after school programs
85 solar powered homes
214 wind turbines for homes
2,142 mortgage payments
100 teacher’s salaries
1,000 people with health insurance
1,500 grandmothers with medicine

The average price of a 2008 Superbowl ticket was $2,000 between basic cost and online resellers. Over 71,000 people attended the 2008 Superbowl. Total money spent on tickets was $142,000,000.

That breaks down into:
47,333 water wells in third world countries
142,000 kids in after school programs
4,057 solar powered homes
10,142 wind turbines for homes
101,428 mortgage payments
4,733 teacher’s salaries
47,333 people with health insurance
71,000 grandmothers with medicine

As you can see, our priorities are all out of whack. We’d rather watch our world go down the drain than have to do without our mind-numbing, culturally invented, comfort zones. As a society, we have gotten so swept up in our own self-entertainment, we have lost track of what truly matters. When in reality, passing yards and first place doesn’t really matter. Not when great and loving individuals everywhere are hungry, jobless, or living without clean water. This is one of the main reasons why I personally believe humans, as a species, are totally insane.

So the next time you’re buying sports tickets, watching a game, or adding to your collection of jerseys and Nascar collectibles, just stop for a second and think about what really matters in this world. Think about an elderly friend or relative that may need help. Think about the world you want to leave for your grandchildren. Think about how it feels to be poor and helpless when no one seems to care. Then turn off the damn tv and do something about it. Please and Thank You!

The smiling face of intolerance.

I saw a movie not too long ago called Jesus Camp. I know a lot of people have strong opinions about this movie and I’m hoping to not touch too much on my personal opinion regarding the movie. I just want to make an observation about one scene in the movie and why it scares the hell out of me. It was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. I’m talking about the scene where the kids are at the camp and the counselor has them breaking cups with a hammer.

Now the scene starts with the counselor telling the kids that in order to rid the world of evil, they need to focus all of their prayers on putting all the bad stuff in the world into the cup. Then they smash the cup with a hammer in order to destroy all the evil contained in it. Now this is creepy just because of the way the scene plays out. But this is not what really perplexes me.

What strikes me as so strange about this scene is that this ritual they are taking part in is a basic pagan magick ritual. They may not realize it, but they are working magick. By manifesting one’s will into an object, and then destroying that object in order to dismiss bad energies from the world, they are working magick. The only difference is when the children are doing it, they are being directed to use this ritual to control the free will of others. In pagan forms of magick such as Wicca, it is forbidden to use ones will in order to control or harm others. The wiccan rede is “An it harm none, do what ye will.” Which means do what you want to, just never harm anyone else (this includes controlling the free will of another).

It is so strange that these fundamentalist Christians would be so blind to what they are doing. They are practicing pagan rituals in a church where pagan rituals and majick are raged against on a regular basis. Magick is a one-way street to hell in the opinions of fundamentalist Christians. We’re talking, one of those“Do not pass go…….” situations. Yet they still bring in kids by the bus-load and teach them to do magick. This is so horribly hypocritical, I can’t even to begin to understand how these people do not understand what they are doing.

The bad thing is, if these extremists are willing to contradict themselves like this regularly, then how are we to believe anything else they preach as truth? If they break their own rules and never bat an eye,then how can anyone believe their opinions on ANYTHING? This is something I can’t stand to see. The sad thing is they don’t even know they are doing it. They’re totally clueless. It’s almost as if they’ve gotten so drawn into their own fanaticism they don’t even know what is real anymore.

These are the same people who protested Harry Potter books because they portrayed witchcraft as good when it was a sin punishable by hell. These are also the same people who boycotted Pokemon because “It has circles in it and circles are tools of witches in pagan ceremonies, therefore Pokemon is satanic.” I hate to tell them, but manifesting your“holy” will into a cup and then ceremonially destroying the cup in order to control people and events, utilizes pagan magick techniques and therefore is satanic according to their own rules. Not only is it pagan, but it’s also breaks the moral laws of witchcraft. That’s pretty bad for a group of people who think they are more spiritually pure than everyone else.

I’m not trying to pass judgment on all Christians. Some of the most wonderful people I know are devout Christians and understandably so. What I’m trying to do is illustrate exactly how far off track the extremists have gone. It seems that over the last decade, many of these groups have lost touch with overall reality. Instead of encouraging love and brotherhood, they seem to be more obsessed with “spiritual warfare”. The question is how long will it take before these groups start lashing out at “sinners” with violence?

If you know anything about Joel’s Army, you will know there is a group of Christians that are eagerly awaiting a chance to kill non-believers in the name of God. How crazy is that? You know there’s another group of extremist in the world that believes in killing non-believers in the name of religious faith. Except they use the term “infidels” instead of sinners and they usually use explosives or hijacked airliners to pull off their “acts of faith”. So why is it acceptable to spend obscene amounts of money and lives in order to fight one form of terrorist when we have groups with a similar mindset gaining strength in our own country? I guess if you donate enough money and vote loyally, it doesn’t matter how batshit crazy you are or violent you may become.

After the recent presidential campaigns, I think it’s easy to see that the more radical members of these groups are just waiting for an excuse to lash out with hate and violence. All it would take is a leader, with enough media exposure, and a well-calculated message to ignite these people into a holy war. Hell, Sarah Palin almost did it and she wasn’t even trying. So what’s to keep someone (with an intellect) from doing it on purpose? A little tolerance would go a long way towards preventing this type of scenario, but unfortunately tolerance has become “a blasphemous word that invites Satan into your heart.” They say this nation was founded under God. It was also founded on a principle of tolerance and diversity. I think it’s time we all remembered that.

God said, “Thou shall not kill.” Let’s just hope the extremists don’t decide this commandment can be twisted and ignored in order to justify their need to control the rest of the world through hatred and intolerance. Otherwise we’d end up fighting amongst ourselves as a nation and spending billions of dollars in order to kill people all around the world. Oh wait, that’s already happened hasn’t it? Uh oh….

The Global Warming “debate”

Or Moosehammer Hears A Who (as I like to call it)

How is global warming now acceptable as truth, after eight years of it being scoffed at? Is it because BushCo is done making money off destroying the environment? Or maybe it’s just the influence of incoming Democrats and THEIR media machine. Either way, I’m glad someone, somewhere is disputing the ignorance we’ve endured over the last eight years.

Ok, so now let’s talk about Al Gore. You can’t argue about global warming without someone bringing up Al Gore. Remember this is the same guy that’s married to Tipper Gore (the founder of the PMRC). In case you don’t remember, the PMRC (Parent’s Music Resource Center) was the organization that blamed everything bad in the world on heavy metal and rap music back in the 1980’s. So here’s a guy that not only wants to relieve Americans of their guns, he also is married to someone who has viciously tried to control what music could be produced in America. You can tell I’m not a real big fan of this dynamic duo. While I personally don’t care much for Al Gore, I’m glad he made An Inconvenient Truth. I don’t know WHY he did it. But I’m glad he did. I’m sure there was some sort of personal gain attained from producing it. Maybe there’s some plan in the works to link hip-hop with global warming. Who knows? An Inconvenient Truth was a good way to get the basics of global warming out to a large-scale audience though and I’m glad someone did it. Unfortunately, too many people discredit it because they associate it with good ole Happy Al. This means most conservative Republicans feel they have to make themselves disagree with it, even if it makes sense. I can understand this. It was hard enough for me to endure Al through the whole thing.

Many Neo-conservative and fundamentalist Christians use the bible as an excuse to rape the planet. Global warming is not a concern for these people. They always say, “God says to go forth and be fruitful and use all the plants and animals as you see fit”. I don’t think God meant, “Go forth and destroy my wonderful creation and expect me to deliver you to heaven with a glorious rapture once you make it into a total shit hole”. I personally view destroying the environment out of personal greed as blasphemy against God’s creation. Wouldn’t it only be logical to assume that if God created it, and you destroyed it, you would be being a total dick toward God? Luckily, many churches are now espousing a more realistic view of caring for the environment and being caretakers of God’s creation. These people are awesome and I look forward to seeing them gain more influence in the Christian community.

But what about all scientist who have disagreed with global warming? Yeah, I’ve heard this one too. There are supposedly all these scientists and experts who say the whole thing is a big sham. Supposedly even the big guy at The Weather Channel has said global warming is unsubstantiated. Well, evidently they’re either bought off, not very intelligent, or some combination of both. The majority of scientists across the world agree that global warming is real and is also manmade. I’ll get to you “earth’s natural cycle” fans in a minute. There are very few scientists who “believe” it is unfounded. And most of them aren’t even experienced in climate studies or even ecology for that matter. One of these guys is even a dentist. Unfortunately, these guys are the ones that have been given airtime on the major networks over the last eight years. I’m kinda surprised they don’t have a special shuttle bus that runs directly from Kooky Krazee Scientist Land directly to the Fox News studios. Or maybe they do and it’s just located secretly below ground as part of the Homeland Security network. Hmmmm….. Ok, the tinfoil hat is off now. I promise. Anyway, my point is, you can purchase scientific opinions on just about anything, but you generally can’t purchase the opinions of most of the scientists in the world, so there!

Now for the “global warming is a natural cycle of the earth, like many previous temperature fluctuations, so it’s definitely not man-made, so we should just quit worrying about it” people. These are my favorite type of people because they are the stupidest (and usually loudest) people you will ever meet. Unfortunately, no amount of logic will sway these folks in their opinions. They are steadfastly stubborn to the bitter end.

So here’s my rebuttal to the “natural cycle” crowd. Accurate measurements show that this is definitely not a natural cycle. The uphill spike in temperature is too sharp and quick. Natural cycles of a planet don’t take place within a hundred years. They take much longer. But just for argument’s sake, let say for a moment that it is just another natural cycle and mankind has nothing to do with it. YOU’LL STILL FUCKING DIE FROM IT YOU STUPID FUCK!

So are we all supposed to just give up? Did mankind see the Ice Age kick in and just say, “Screw it man, we’re toast, I’m gonna go jump under a mammoth”? Hell no. They fought through it with every ounce of strength they had. And they even survived. So why don’t we do something about it now? If it’s not man-made, we still understand that Co2 and greenhouse gasses make the problem even worse. Why shouldn’t we try to find a cure for this “natural cycle”? I’ll tell you why. Because the people who spout off with this bit don’t give a damn about anything other than themselves. They don’t care about their kids or grandkids. They don’t care about poor people in other countries. If they did, they would actually want to do something to stop it. They just want to feel smart and ignore anything that doesn’t make them happy right now. Or maybe they’re just too weak-minded to cope with the reality that things are likely to become very shitty in the future.

My point is we can actually try to fight this thing if we can get our heads out of the sand. If we can put a man on the moon and an iphone in almost every pocket, we should be able to find a way to make this stuff chill out regardless of if it’s natural or man-made. So don’t give me this “natural cycle” crap. Volcanoes are a “natural cycle” too and they’ll kill your damn ass. You don’t see anyone shooting missiles at volcanoes do you? So why are we still shooting CO2 at the atmosphere?

So in closing, I’d like to say, whether you agree with me or not, please take the time to stop and look at the facts. Go talk to your local college and talk to an ecologist. Find out what they think. Don’t trust corporate “scientists” on CNN or Fox News. And definitely don’t trust the “scientists” who make a circuit doing presentations at churches all across the country. Anyone, whose scientific opinion is purchased or influenced by religious or political ties, cannot be fully trusted. This includes Happy Al. Go get your own answers. Just remember, what we do today will affect not only our futures, but also our children’s futures. You may be comfortable living in a total hell on earth when you’re seventy years old, but if you did nothing to stop it, don’t look to your grandkids to share any food or clean water with you when it happens.

Toilet Seat Up Or Down. The definitive answer.

So here’s the big question: “Should the toilet seat be left up or put down when one is done using it?” This question has plagued couples and families for years and probably will continue to. Luckily, though, I think I’ve got the definitive answer that can resolve this and hopefully give couples less time arguing and more time making sweet monkey love, or whatever they may like to do when they aren’t arguing about toilet seats. I’m not one to advocate or incite tension between the sexes, but I think it’s time someone addressed this question in a detached and logical manner.

First let me say, too many people blame members of the opposite sex for their problems without realizing there’s not much difference between men and women. I believe some of the blame for this can be placed on modern media and it’s influence on popular culture. Most family sitcoms make their bread and butter by portraying parents and couples as being in a constant gender-based power struggle. It’s the classic Fred and Wilma Flintstone scenario. Both people blame the other for all their problems while secretly and selfishly plotting behind each other’s backs. Usually a friend of the same sex is brought in to help with the systematic destruction of the other spouse’s self esteem and will to live. This is all great, hilarious fun until people actually start to believe this is real and natural behavior that should be emulated. Combine this with men’s and women’s magazines that constantly drive home the differences between the sexes and there’s no wonder why most marriages and relationships don’t last that long. The truth is it doesn’t have to be this complicated. Members of the opposite sex generally aren’t a bunch of scheming puzzles that need deciphering.

I don’t really see much difference between men and women (other than biological plumbing). You’ve got kind and giving people in both groups and you’ve got dicks and assholes as well. It’s all a matter of making sure you don’t associate with conniving, manipulative, sociopathic, sacks of shit. Whether they are men or women makes no difference.

Now back to the argument at hand. Some women believe that the toilet seat should be left down at all times. Some of them become very militant over this. Some of them could care less. The main reasoning behind this point of view is if the seat is left down, then they won’t fall into the toilet water when they go to use the restroom. This usually happens late at night, or when they are drunk, or maybe even both. This is understandable. Most people don’t bother to wake up fully when going to use the bathroom for fear of not being able to get back to sleep. Or maybe it’s laziness, or maybe I’m just pulling shit out of my ass on this one (pardon the pun). So the point is many women don’t want to have to look down at the toilet before they sit down on it. Never mind the possibility that someone may have left the seat down but also pissed all over it. Or maybe someone snuck in and filled the toilet with water moccasins or some other type of venomous creature. I know I’m not going to sit down ANYWHERE without looking first. That’s just me. To each his/or her own I guess.

Now I will address the men’s side of the argument. Men cannot pee without first making sure the seat is up. Otherwise they just piss all over everything. Aim all you want, but you’re still going to need as big a target as possible in order to make sure you don’t hit the seat. But this is where men begin to feel victimized and demasculinated. You see in order to use the bathroom they have to lift the seat, piss, and then put the seat back down. Now if you compare this to the women that want to sit, pee, and then leave without having to bend over to adjust the toilet seat, you can see why some men get pissed (pardon the pun) about this as well. Many feel that women should be responsible for some of the bending and lifting as well. Even in the middle of the night. Being born with a penis should not automatically sentence men to a life of toilet seat manipulation. Although I do believe it probably ensures a lifetime of trash duty. I’m still studying that one.

So on and on it goes for years and years, with both sides feeling like victims and a whole lot less sweet monkey love being made. But it doesn’t always have to be that way. After 36 years of riding on this big rock called Earth, I’ve finally come to a conclusion that I believe will finally resolve the age-old argument over the positioning of the toilet seat. Are you ready? I’m excited and I already know what the answer is.

Here it is…..

Both sexes should be held responsible for putting both the toilet seat AND the toilet lid down after using the bathroom. That way both sexes have to lift and lower the toilet seat each time they use the bathroom. This ensures equal responsibility and duties are shared by each sex. No one is being used as toilet labor, no one is getting a free ride, and no one is getting a wet ass. It’s extremely fair and very simple. I can’t wait to accept my Nobel Peace Prize.

*As a side note, the toilet seat is not an issue at my house. We all accept the toilet seat as a uncontrollable variable in our lives. I guess it’s a gentle reminder that chaos can strike at anytime, anywhere. At our house, life is not like a box of chocolates. It’s like a toilet seat. You never know if it’s going to be up, down, or sealed off completely. Besides, we’re way too busy making sweet monkey love to worry about something as silly as a toilet seat! Love really does conquer all.

Scapegoat I

This is something I wrote years ago about someone I used to work with in a restaraunt long, long ago and far, far away. Last night I dreamed I was back at that job. It's strange I always dream about the jobs I hated and not the ones I loved. I still haven't figured out why.

Scapegoat I

Now I'll be your scapegoat,
And I'll take the blame for it,
But when it all comes down to it,
You know we all see through it.
Your big empty promise to the ruling man.

You put a price tag on my trust,
And you sold it out at the very first.
And now I KNOW you'd fuck me and everyone else
Just to save yourself.

You'll never earn the respect
For which you strive.
Your soul's been killed.
We can see it in your eyes.
The only way you think
Is in dollar signs.
You'll sell your own salvation
Right out from under you.

The captain rat
Of the sinking ship.
The water's rising.
You don't know what to do.
Climb across the heads
Of your drowning crew.
Make for the empty promise
Of a non-existent island.

Hope never existed.
It was just a calculated lie.
Given to the frightened girl
Who was too tired to discern truth from lie.
Too weary to fight or think
Only to nod and march in place.
Being a place holder for a write-off
Is not such a bad thing.
People learn to enjoy being burned
Everyday.

Whether it's masochism or stupidity
The end is all the same.
The pointless fight within the broken dream.
Beating the dead horse
In order to break the stick.
Bloody fists
Hammering an unbreakable wall of razors.
Edged yet pointless
Just like you.
The liar.
The hypocrite.
The abandoned.
The inept.
Generally flaccid
Is all you can Manage.
That's why you're my favorite General Manager!!!

2008: The year in medical fun!

As some of you may know, I was diagnosed with CIDP (Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy) this past year. Simply put, CIDP is a syndrome in which your nerves are destroyed by an overactive immune system. This makes your arms, legs, face, etc. go numb and eventually become paralyzed. It can also lead to internal organ failure and other fun havoc in your gutty-works. Luckily, I have only experienced the numb and paralyzed extremities part of it so far. My face went numb for a while and I got a lump in my throat that interfered with swallowing, but I got treatment before it got to my autonomic system (that’s innerds for us southern yokels). I did however end up needing a wheelchair. I’m hoping treatments will help me grow enough nerves back so I can do without the wheelchair, but I’m still waiting to see if I’ll keep recovering or not.

I’ve met my share of quacks, and I’ve met my share of Saints, during this bizarre, medical journey. I’ve met doctors and nurses that truly cared about their patients and who took pride in their work. I’ve also met doctors and nurses who could care less about patients. Of course I will be writing more about these lovely people at a later date. Needless to say, I now know first-hand exactly how screwed the healthcare system in the U.S. is.

Anyway during the last year, I not only had to find out what was wrong with me but I also had to find out how to keep it from killing me. These desperate times called for desperate measures. So, as you could guess, there was a lot of testing, poking, and prodding that had to be done.

I decided it would be cool to look back and list all of the fun stuff that I’ve experienced over the last five months. My symptoms started in January 2008 but it was the end of July before I went to my first doctor. That’s when all the fun started. So most of this all happened within a five month window of time.

Below is a list of the procedures and tests that I had done and how many of each of them I got to enjoy:

IV’s: 10

Attempted IV’s (blown veins due to clumsy nurses): 4

Number of times blood was taken: 10

Number of barrels of blood taken: 27

Lumbar punctures: 1

Solu-medrol steroid treatments: 10

IVIG treatments: 3

Decadron shots: 1

MRI’s: 2

Nerve conductivity studies: 2

EMG tests: 1

Cat Scans: 1

X-rays: 7

Number of hours in hospital: 95

Neurologists: 2

General practitioners: 3

Number of pills taken (including supplements): approx 1540+

Total number of needles pierced into me (IV’s, lumbar puncture, blood work, injections, and EMG test): 40+

Number of doctors I wanted to punch in the face: 2

As you can see, I had an interesting year. I’m not complaining. I’m glad I’ve had the opportunity to fight back against this disorder. I’m glad I had good friends and family that helped me up when I was down. And I’m glad I’m married to the most loving and supportive wife in the world. I honestly know that without the support and love of all the wonderful people in my life, I would be dead in a ditch (or worse) by now.

I also learned there are good people in the world after all. Having some real shitty friends over the years had jaded me into quite a cynical corner regarding friendship. But I know now that there are some very loyal people out there after all, and luckily I know some of them and I have the honor of being their friend. Thanks to you all. You know who you are.

So in closing….I tip my hat and raise my glass to the previous year of stress and soul-wrenching battle. It was scary, exhilarating, and damned hard work, but I learned quite a bit about myself in the process (a lot of which I had been to busy for years to find out). It’s been one of the most exciting years in my life. I just hope the coming year is less stressful and a bit more laid back.

Thanks for reading. I hope you all have a good year.